1. Forward.

    I want to preface this blog by saying I came into this year extremely resistant to the idea of going to seminary or divinity school. I knew the YAV program had a reputation for producing future pastors and fueling its participants into Presbyterian seminaries around the country. I never thought that what I did this year would put me on that path, too.

    Discernment about what’s next has been a really big and important part of this year for me. About this time last year I decided that I wanted to go to graduate school for Art History and eventually work at a museum or get my PhD and research and teach for the rest of my life. I think I would be perfectly happy doing those things. I love Art History. I’m good at Art History.  

     But a large part of the discernment process this year has been looking at what I value as a whole person, not just as a student or someone looking for a career. Every week we’ve done a version of the “examen” practice as a group. (It started off as “where have you felt God’s presence this week” and “Where have you felt God’s absence” and it has evolved into highs and lows, pows and wows, but the idea is still the same.) I began to notice that my high points continued to be the same: I felt God’s presence most in my relationships with others. I felt God’s presence when I began to feel I had something to contribute. I felt God’s presence when my work produced outcomes I was proud of. These high points led me to see where it is I most thrive: with others. And that’s what got me thinking about ministry as a more long-term call. Ministry is the business of being with others, serving alongside them, seeking God with them, knowing them, loving them.

      Through this (and many meetings with Janet) I began to think about the question what do I value?  I value community. I value intentionality. I value relationship building. I value progress and new ideas. I value my faith. I value passion. I value social justice. I value equality. I value hard work. I value sharing with one another. I value growth. I value my family and my friends. I value interfaith engagement. I value academia. I value rich experiences. I value hospitality. I value loving others. I value, I value, I value…

        The second question this led me to is what do I want for my life based on my values?  I want a family. I want to be in community with others. I want to live in a city of people that are committed to helping others. I want relationships that build me up.  I want to be impassioned for a cause, for equality, for social justice, for progress. I want a life open to exploration and questioning. I want to have rich experiences that will allow me to grow. I want a working life that speaks to my values and will allow me to contribute. I want, I want, I want…

       Vanderbilt seemed like the obvious choice for a number of reasons. For one, I love Nashville and I can’t imagine leaving so soon. My whole life we’ve moved around from place to place. The longest I spent anywhere was good ole Beaumont, TX for six years during middle school and high school. The idea of putting down roots in Nashville was something that just made sense. I am in a community with literally countless non-profits and social service agencies. I am lucky enough to have found a church community that I enjoy being a part of.  I’ve had opportunities to get to know people and understand Nashville in a lot of really wonderful ways. I’ve already started putting down roots.

       I really appreciate the academics at Vanderbilt, their forward thinking and openness to discussion. But what really stood out to me and was the convincing factor was that Vanderbilt Divinity School students aren’t sitting in the classroom or the library or their rooms studying for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. VDS alumni, students, and professors are everywhere in this town, engaged in the community and living out both their studies and their faith. They have internships and jobs in non-profits and local congregations, they’re active in their churches, they’re reaching out to young Christians like me, they show an amazing display of hospitality to newcomers (and a lot of them are Presbyterian, too!)

     I feel lucky and happy and overwhelmingly blessed by my life in Nashville. I don’t know where my call to divinity school will lead but I am happy and excited for my next steps. 

  2. April.

    Hello friends, happy May! Just thought I’d write a quick catch up blog to document a few things I’ve been up to in the past month!  

    At the end of March, we officially wrapped up the English Second Language class I had been teaching since October. We ended with a party and graduation ceremony. All of my “regulars” came with native food: tamales, tres leches, tacos, and many other things I didn’t recognize, but were very yummy.

     
    Marisol was with me since day one last October and was one of the first moms at Cole to really push for the beginner ESL class. She was always an incredibly patient student, and I’m thankful for that as a beginning teacher!


    Here is the whole class!

    Another fun adventure that happened in April was the YAV trip to Northern Ireland. Four of the YAVs-me, Lee, Susan, and Megan went to Northern Ireland to visit Ashley, our fellow Nashville YAV who is from a town outside of Belfast and was home for a few weeks. Ashley was a great tour guide, her parents were wonderful hosts, and we got the full Northern Ireland experience!


    Here we are - enjoying some time by the sea after crossing the (very scary) Carrick-a-rede rope bridge! Check out my Facebook for more pictures of our week in Northern Ireland!

    There are some BIG THINGS going on at Conexion Americas right now. I mean, BIG. I don’t know if anyone has heard me say much about the Casa Azafran community center, but it is going to not only be a new office space for our organization, but also a nonprofit collaborative with organizations such as YW Girls Inc., Justice for our Neighbors, and United Neighborhood Health Clinic, to name a few. A couple Saturdays ago we hosted the official groundbreaking for Casa Azafran with guests like Mayor Karl Dean, the Costa Rican ambassador to the US, as well as the conductor of the Nashville symphony.


    Conexion Americas staff at the groundbreaking!


    Conexion Americas families and guests laid the first bricks at the new building. In this picture, Marisol and her husband lay down a brick. Marisol (different than the one above) is a former Conversemos participant, is a Parents as Partners graduate and facilitator and is a part of the advanced ESL class at Cole. She’s wonderful!

    This past Saturday we wrapped up the Spring semester of Conversemos with a Final Gathering Ice Cream party! We had participants this semester from college students to retirees and ice cream truly is something that brings everyone together, right?

    We were joined by Jairo Prado, a local Nashville artist. Jairo designed the mural that will be featured on the front of Casa Azafran. As a part of the grant for the mural, Jairo was asked to work with the community to create, design and envision the mural. Our Conversemos participants were able to talk and share their stories while creating their own versions of the mural.


    Kevin and Vidal met every week this semester, often at Kevin’s home. They read books and magazines together and plan to continue meeting this summer.


    Nancy, on the left, and her partner met every week as well and plan to continue meeting. Maria, on the right, was my partner this semester. We met twice a week at a local library and took walks while we chatted.

    Last, but most certainly not least, I have a plan for next year. Well, for the next three years to be exact. I will be attending Vanderbilt Divinity School in the fall to begin working on my Masters of Divinity. I hope to start the ordination process as an inquirer this summer. It was an exhausting, difficult, yet prayerful decision and I am really thrilled about the outcome. I plan to write another, more lengthy, blog about this later but I couldn’t post an update of my month without including it!

    Whew. Looking back on the past 8 months I can’t believe how fast this year has gone, and how different I feel now that we’re nearing the end. It’s been a crazy few weeks, but I’m excited about the next three months and everything that will happen during the rest of my YAV year!

  3. Day on the Hill

    I knew I wanted to blog about immigration issues eventually, but I’ve been a bit apprehensive about it. By no means am I an expert, or have all of the information or know all of the circumstances. But learning about immigration and legality and seeing the way we as a host country treat our Latino neighbors over the past 7 months has become a very formative part of my year.

    Before I began my YAV year, I knew I wanted to work with refugees or immigrants in some way. I wanted a multi-cultural experience while working to make life better for people in my home country. I could not have asked for a more perfect fit than Conexion Americas. I knew coming in that I was interested in learning more about immigration laws and reform, and especially about how they affect the daily lives of both documented and undocumented immigrants. While Conexion Americas doesn’t deal too much with immigration status or legal situations, there is a strong sense of advocacy and giving a positive face to the Latino population in the Middle Tennessee area.

    Conexion Americas and countless other immigrant rights groups in the area are making a huge effort to make sure that laws passed in places like Arizona and Alabama don’t come to Tennessee. For example, Clergy for Tolerance is a faith based group that brings together leaders from all different religious traditions to speak out against social injustices brought against immigrants. Clergy for Tolerance supports a campaign to eliminate the words “illegal” and “alien” from immigration rhetoric. The group created a petition that encouraged 2012 Presidential candidates to leave out charged immigration rhetoric in the state of Tennessee. After all, no child of God is illegal. (While I’m not sure it is the best resource on the subject, the EthicsDaily.com documentary “Gospel Without Borders” is a good look at this theology. Read more here.)

    So naturally I was really interested in the work Conexion Americas does through the state legislature. We work with a lobbyist to monitor bills that would affect Latinos in our state. Last week, to make our presence known to state legislators and lawmakers, we had Conexion Americas Day on the Hill. We had a booth set up and paid for everyone’s breakfast that morning and had staff and Board Members on hand to talk to anyone interested in what we do.

    We also took a lovely little tour of the Capital.

    But perhaps the bulk of the visit was for us to meet with Representatives and Senators to tell them what we’re about and how we can be a resource for them in their districts. I only had the opportunity to go to one meeting because I had to leave early to make my ESL class. I was surprised by how unreceptive the particular Representative we met with was to our efforts. While I didn’t necessarily expect to be met with praise, I expected some degree of politeness and respect for the work we do in the community to unify Nashvillians and the immigrant population. But instead I sensed resistance and an unhappiness that our work includes all Latinos - documented or not.

    No matter your stance on immigration, it is undeniable that Latinos are increasingly a large amount of our population, and often a part of our population that is negatively labeled, discriminated against and oppressed by the way we think about race, citizenship and nationalism. That can’t be ignored. As Christians (and, in my opinion, just as people in general) we are called to welcome the stranger, the foreigner, the oppressed. I don’t think we can ignore that either.

  4. To my few followers:

    I drafted this letter at the beginning of the year with the intention of sending it to my supporters. Unfortunately life got in the way and with the busy new year and other happenings, I never sent it out. I did, however, want to share it here.

    My placement at Conexión Américas has been enlightening and challenging. I coordinate the Conversemos Language Exchange Program, which pairs an English speaker and a Spanish speaker to meet and converse for two hours a week in their native languages. While it can be difficult at times to assume a position that simply facilitates a program and does not have a direct hand in the activities, I’ve found that I’ve truly enjoyed getting to know the participants through their stories and successes throughout the fall semester. Things are picking up again as I am beginning a new semester and I am thankful for the number of Latino immigrants that are impacted by the. As expected, I struggle with my Spanish every day, but thankfully I am improving.

    In addition, I have also started to teach English classes at an elementary school the organization partners with. My students are all mothers whose children attend the school. They are all about my age and have lived in Nashville for more than 5 years. While their English is progressing slowly, I think we all enjoy our little community and the relationships we’ve developed with one another. At Christmas, we celebrated by each bringing a traditional dish from our native countries and exchanging gifts. One thing that I admire most about Conexión’s mission is the way it shows love for our neighbors in the Nashville community. At a time when immigration is an especially controversial topic, the work Conexión Américas does in Nashville responds to our call as Christians to love one another, despite our worldly labels or place in society.

    One thing that has brought me an endless amount of joy in my year so far is being part of an intentional Christian community. The other YAVs and I join together for community time once a week and I feel continually blessed by their friendship and encouragement. We serve in a variety of placements: a homeless day center, an inner city high school, teaching refugee preschoolers, serving various housing projects and Vanderbilt students. I am undoubtedly grateful for their successes and struggles as they share their stories. I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of their ministries. Beyond this, I feel an unending amount of support from the YAV alumni and the Presbyterian community in Nashville, as well as my fellow YAVs currently serving around the United States and abroad.

    The last four months have had a profound and important impact on my life and have significantly changed the way I think about ministry.  To me, ministry has always been associated with the word “minister,” so I’ve always considered ministry to be what pastors do or churches do. I figured “call to ministry” meant “called to be a minister.” However, what I’ve experienced this year and learned from my work and my community is that a call to ministry is a call to live out our faith as Christians in an intentional way. I’ve discerned over the past couple of months that perhaps my call to ministry is a vocational option for me.  I currently feel a call to divinity school to further explore ministry and to learn more about the Church’s role in the world today. I don’t know whether or not it will lead to ordination, or if my call to ministry will eventually be a call to be a minister, but I’m confident that there is a direction and a plan for me that is already in place.

    Again, thank you for your support of my year. It is my prayer that my experience in the Young Adult Volunteer program is a testament to what young Christians are doing in the world. The people I have been able to meet through this program, from current YAVs to YAV alumni to Divinity students, have given me a significant amount of hope for the future of the Church. And more than ever I am excited to be a part of it.

  5. "I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time—waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God—it changes me."
    C.S. Lewis 

  6. be more.

    Last Friday in our group time we were meeting with Janet and discussing discernment. I made a poor attempt at explaining what we had been asked to write about: moments of consolation and desolation. When I finished explaining that I felt farthest from God when I felt bad about myself and what I was doing, and closest to God when the opposite was true, Janet replied: “You need to be affirmed in your being.”

    Affirmed in your being.

    It’s been resounding in my head the past few days.

    You need to be affirmed in your being.

    My ESL class has been going strong for about two months now.  I didn’t know how much I would really enjoy teaching. I love creating lesson plans, and being in front of the class and thinking about how to organize for next semester. But I think more than anything I’ve enjoyed how comfortable my regular students have become with answering, and asking and speaking. What was at first intimidating for everyone has become an environment of mutual learning. On Thursday, we are having a Christmas party. We are cooking our traditional foods for each other and exchanging gifts. I am so appreciative of the community we have become.

    Affirmed in my being.

    I think what I’ve struggled with most so far in my job is how idle I’ve felt sometimes. We just finished the first round of Conversemos, and will have two more semesters of the program during my time at Conexion. One great thing about the program is how structured and planned out it is because it has been done so many times before. Sometimes this is a good thing, and other times I find myself frustrated with it because what I perceive as a lack of opportunity to be creative. Since realizing this, I’ve been able to think of new ideas for Conversemos for the coming semesters. After talking with Janet I’ve realized that I need work that invites my ideas and contributions, not just my abilities to complete tasks.

    I need to be affirmed in my being. 

    Continually I find myself affirmed by my community and relationships in Nashville, Jackson and at home. I feel blessed in my intentional Christian community in so many ways. I am thankful, first of all, for Sarah and Lee. Anyone who has been my friend for any amount of time knows that I worry incessantly about the smallest things and I am so glad that I have roommates who will listen to me when my brain is going a million miles a minute with concern over brown recluses, personal problems, or my fear of speaking Spanish. I am also thankful for the laughter in our house and that I am met each day with kindness, support and a little sass from my roommates. 

    Affirmed in my being. 

    I feel overwhelmingly blessed by my life in Nashville. It surely wasn’t an easy decision to leave Jackson and my little Millsaps bubble there, but what I’ve gained in return has been unexpected. I’m not sure I’ve totally grasped the concept of “being in ministry” yet, but the work that Conexion Americas does with Latino families in the Nashville community has given me a much stronger sense of what it means to love and care for your neighbors (much, much more on this later.) 

    I know this is the right place for me now. I know that I am answering God’s call and that He has a plan for my future. 

    Affirmed in my being.

  7. I know I haven’t been so good about blogging but I thought I would share with you a little blurb I wrote for the Second Pres newsletter: 

    My placement this year in Nashville is at Conexón Américas, and like most YAVs in the past, I’ve been working with their Conversemos Language Exchange Program. However, this week I began teaching ESL Classes at Cole Elementary in South Nashville.

    I was excited to start teaching. I was eager to reenter my English speaking comfort zone and to get out of the office. I was most looking forward to face to face interaction with the people that Conexión Américas serves, which is not something I experience as a large part of my job is communicating via email and phone. The first class was difficult and the students had much less English than I was expecting. Mostly, they just seemed skeptical.

    Later that day, I was back at the office talking to one of Conexión’s founders about the class and he said, “You know, I wonder if they know how to read and write in Spanish.”

    Oh. Well that adds an entirely new dimension to things. Speaking in English is my comfort zone, teaching literacy is not. In my efforts to create lesson plans and activities, I relied heavily on written instructions since my verbal Spanish skills are lacking. I didn’t think to consider the key cultural differences in education. My education is something I definitely take for granted, which reminds me how fortunate I am to be able to spend a year as a YAV.

    After the second class, I’m now mostly sure my students are literate and they seem to have opened up to me a lot more. I can already tell that, although their formal education may be limited, they are eager students…and also eager teachers. They might teach me as much Spanish as I’m teaching them English! 

  8. No hablo mucho espanol.

    Isn’t it funny how we can form opinions of people we’ve never met? Communicating with people via email or the phone is a normal way to get to know someone. I admit that before I arrived in Nashville, I Facebook stalked my fellow YAVs to see what kind of people I  would be working with, and made surface judgements about each of them based on their profiles and posts. (Don’t worry friends, they were all positive judgements!) But when you meet someone in person, you gain a whole new perspective of what type of person they are.

    I would say probably one of the most difficult parts of my job at Conexion Americas is the fact that I don’t get to interact with the people I work with face to face. My fellow YAVs spend their days talking to and interacting with college students, at risk children, homeless men and women, African refugees, and high schoolers. But I spend most of my days talking into a telephone receiver or fielding emails.

    Such a large part of every one of our placements is communication and connection with people who are different than we are. I’ve struggled a lot with this over the past four weeks as I’ve tried to recall whatever Spanish is still left in my brain since my last class three years ago. I should also mention it is ten times more difficult to speak your second language over the phone. About two weeks ago, I had to make 20 phone calls in Spanish to participants in the program to make sure they knew to come to orientation this week. When I didn’t understand, I would ask the person on the other end of the phone if they could speak in English. Sometimes they would, stumbling through their words like I had just stumbled through mine, but sometimes they would just say no and continue to speak in Spanish. Naturally, this became frustrating for everyone and I would dread calling certain participants because I knew they were going to have a lot of questions I wouldn’t be able to answer. When someone told me no and continued on in Spanish, I began to resent them and felt frustrated that they weren’t willing to help me.

    But then last week we had orientation and I got to meet all these people I had been communicating with face to face. The people I had been frustrated with became a lot more real to me and I was able to understand where they were coming from a little better.

    A low moment: I had to give directions to orientation over the phone to one lady, which essentially turned into us firmly saying street names to each other until she finally hung up. But when she finally arrived at orientation, I was able to apologize in person for my poor Spanish and I hope it showed her that we’re in the same boat, just trying to learn one another’s language.

    A good moment: One lady, who I’ve only talked to on the phone and haven’t met yet, brightens my day every time she calls. The first time I talked to her I explained that I don’t speak Spanish very well and ever since then she will speak in English to me even when I’m asking her questions in Spanish and that sort of thing. She always sounds so happy to hear from me and thanks me profusely for the opportunity every time we talk. She always makes me smile!

    I will say another very happy part of my job is my coworkers, as I think I’ve mentioned before. Even if I feel like I’m not getting to make relationships with the people I work with trough Conversemos, I definitely am establishing relationships with the people at my workplace, which is great. And hopefully I’ll be able to connect with the students in my ESL class as well!

  9. Conexión Américas (a lot of fun and a little work too)

    Yesterday concluded my third week working at Conexion Americas and I already feel like I’ve been there forever! It’s been a crazy few weeks with the start of the fall round of the Conversemos program and the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month. So, I thought I would share a little bit more about Conexion and what I’ve been up to.

    Conexión Américas was founded in 2002 to address some of the most pressing challenges and opportunities created by recent demographic changes in Nashville as an increasing number of Latino families come to Tennessee in search for a better quality of life. Conexion promotes integration of Latino families in the community through social, civic and economic advancement. 

    I run the Conversemos program, which falls under social advancement, because it not only helps Latinos in the area improve their English, but also introduces them to their English speaking neighbors in the Nashville community. 

    This picture is from Conversemos orientation (I’ve written a little blog about it that I’ll post later!) English learners and Spanish learners planning out their meetings.

    Conexion has A LOT of other programs. One is Parents as Partners, which reaches out to Latino parents to help them understand things like GPA, the SAT and ways to be active in their child’s education. Conexion also helps families buy their first homes and holds small business classes. There is a lot going on at once!

    Conexion has great services for the community they serve, but Conexion is also a community in itself. My coworkers are pretty funny and loads of fun. I’ve gotten to experience A LOT of Latino culture in Nashville with the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month last week. Conexion has a band called RUMBA made of people who work at the organization, including the director, and other friends. 

    Here they are performing at Live on the Green, a free concert series (they opened for Los Lonely Boys!) 

    The next night was the annual Hispanic Heritage Month Celebration, which was an explosion of amazing food, high energy music, and a lot of salsa dancing. (I stuck to the food.) It was a lot of fun. 

    I love this picture form the HHM Celebration Photo Booth! Tara, in the boa, is the Programs Director at Conexion and is my supervisor. She was a YAV with Conexion and Toolshed resident about 5 years ago! Dona Martha is the other lady in the picture and she is one of my office-mates. I don’t speak at lot of Spanish, and she doesn’t speak a lot of English, but somehow we make communicating work. She is hysterical and always a lot of fun :)

    I wrote another post about what’s been going on with Conversemos and some reflections on my job so far that I will put on here soon! While Conversemos is my ongoing assignment and I will run the program for the next year, I will also start teaching ESL classes to some of the moms in the Parents as Partners program. I am SO NERVOUS but also VERY excited about that. I hope you’ll keep up with my blog posts this year (and I hope this was very informative!)

  10. Let me turn and follow you and never be the same

    So, I’ve been in Nashville full time now for two weeks. This past week I began working at Conexion Americas. The past three weeks have been a lot of getting oriented, and I still don’t feel totally settled in my job or in my house yet, but I’m enjoying it here and I can’t wait to get to the point where I can call Nashville home.

    Part of my transition into life here is realizing that I’m not actually in college anymore. It has been a little difficult when I realize that I’m not going back to Millsaps. When I see my friends there meeting new people, enjoying bid day, and studying in the library (yes I actually miss that), I wonder why I decided to leave Jackson and WHY there is such a thing as graduation. This has been such a struggle for me the past couple of weeks, but I was blessed with a little wisdom today. I was struck by this line in the Prayer of Confession at Harpeth Presbyterian Church this morning: 

    “We fear that you will call us to something hard, different, uncomfortable. We long for a renewed sense of call, yet we’re comfortable in our routines. Forgive us, O God, for our tendency to stay put. Give us courage to hear your call, and to listen.”  

    After all of the craziness of the past three weeks and the discomfort of new situations at home, work, and church, this prayer was so refreshing to remind myself that answering a call is not supposed to be easy, and struggling is a valid part of the experience. Moving on is growing forward.

    As I go into my second week of work, and look forward to a month of events and things that will undoubtedly make me feel a little uncomfortable (i.e. actually working up the courage to speak Spanish), I feel a renewed sense of call. Getting wrapped up in everything that is happening can tend to make me a little forgetful of why I’m here in the first place. Matthew 5:48 (The Message version) sums it up for me: 

    “In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” 

    And I think that’s what this “real world” is all about. 

About me

Follow me through a year of service for a lifetime of change as I serve as a Young Adult Volunteer for the Presbyterian Church (USA) in Nashville, TN

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